Heidi for Chingford and Woodford Green

UCAT is pleased to announce that Heidi will be contesting the seat which Ian Duncan Smith thinks he owns – Chingford and Woodford Green.

Heidi is political heavyweight with a fierce reputation for defending any position she takes on top of the cabinet.

As a free garden zealot, Heidi also lives in a fantasy world,  and also voted for Boaty McBoatface in 2016, but unlike her opponent she actually admits that she likes red tape.

She has provided lots of highly idealistic input into the debate on the Single Garden, and has often entertained the party with her crazy ideas, some of which have been taken up in the UCAT Manifesto, although we did not including her ludicrous notion of the one-way cat flap (which is going a bit too far).

Nonetheless, we gave her total free rein to write the Manifesto Update on Doing Business after Leaving the Single Garden, and although we have not vetted its contents, or done any kind of impact assessment of its implications.

When elected (there is no if to it), Heidi will seize control of the Shadowy Ministry for Administration of the Colonies which is secretly being re-established, prior to reclaiming the colonies themselves.

VOTE UCAT TO HELP FAST CATS DEFEND THEIR POSITIONS ON TOP OF CABINETS!

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