UCAT is pleased to announce “Nigel” as a political candidate in Rochester and Strood for the UCAT party in the General Election – Please support Nigel via Peter Cook’s CatFunder Campaign.
Nigel’s policies are as follows:
- Kitekat for Brexfast – Kippers for tea
- No Eurocats or Siamese cats in my garden
- Retain the right to play and shit in my 27 neighbour’s gardens
- Abolish Agriculture and Dried Food
- Unlimited fishing rights on Cod, Haddock and other British Fish
- A ban on Fish Fingers – they are a human perversion
- A total ban on birds – they are migrants and annoy me when I’m trying to sleep
Vote UCAT to make Breakfast a success! Please help Nigel raise his deposit to stand against the humans. He is Strong and Sable …
When funding Nigel as the UCAT candidate for Rochester and Strood, please use the code “UCAT – Nigel” in your reply so we can see how many people want to see cats in charge of the nation.
If we fail to secure a deposit for Nigel, the money will be used to tour the UK on our mission to weaken Theresa May’s grip on power. Nigel will appear as a guest panelist on our “Question Time” panel, although he has little interest in human affairs …
To find out about Nigel’s opponent, Kelly Tollhurst, please check out her voting record on the They Work For You website.