Winston for Windsor

Meet Winston – the UCAT cat-didate for Windsor!

Winston is a revolutionary idealist who likes to pretend that he is a conservative. He joined UCAT in order to promote his bizarre notion of the “Patriotic Destruction of British Business“, which he hopes to achieve by Leaving the Single Garden and causing great instability all around.

In  a short time, he has made quite a name for himself as a cat that is not willing to listen to the views of others, even when they are better informed than him, and he  has made it clear that he certainly has no interest in representing anyone’s interest but his own. Of course, he refuses to take part in debates and interviews, and we certainly don’t expect him to participate in any hustings prior to the General Election.

Some say that Winston’s policies are COPYCAT policies, which Winston  firmly denies. While we have to admit there is probably some truth in that, we want to point out that if you scrutinse the voting record of Adam Afriye you can identify a couple of minor policy differences that set Winston apart.

In  general you can assume that Winston’s policies are just the kind of thing you’d expect from a bucking Brexiteer with little regard for tradition, security or the rule of law. If that’s what you want then  please vote WINSTON for WINDSOR by crossing out the other candidates’ names and “writing him in”.

VOTE UCAT FOR MORE BOATYMCBOATFACE MAYHEM

 

Maggie for Maidenhead

Maggie

UCAT is delighted that Maggie Catcher has defecated to the UCAT Party. Margaret, affectionately known as Maggie, is a political heavyweight with years of experience on top of the cabinet.

Maggie will be standing in Maidenhead against the incumbent Prime Minister Theresa May.  Claiming “similar experience” to her opponent, she says she formerly controlled the “home office” and  claims to have successfully reduced the immigration of mice into her territory, although this is disputed by the extreme mouse-o-phobian wing of the party.

Maggie has firm conservative beliefs and dislikes revolutionaries of any kind. She believes that stability is the best way to ensure there is enough food on the floor for all the kittens.

“Tradition has produced the best possible system over time” she says, “- and that can never be improved by anything that’s planned by a human. Human minds are rather feeble and limited in capacity, so when there is need for change it should be considered carefully and managed gradually and through reforms – never through revolution!”

Support MAGGIE CATCHER for STRONG and SABLE government TO MAKE BREAKFAST A SUCCESS!

Maggie